Let me back up a bit. I have always had a problem with controlling my eating. It is not unlike me to sit down and eat an entire bag of marshmallows, a whole bowl of cheese dip, a half of a container of peanut butter. The worst part about these food "binges" is how I feel afterward. I go through a period of anger, being so mad at myself for doing that, generally on food that really isn't even "worth" it. Then I get sad, depressed and anxious. That's the worst. The feeling of regret, anxiety and sadness...and it never fails. So why is it that I keep going through this vicious cycle over and over again? Food has such a control over me, and it just makes me angry. I get angry I don't have control, but then when I do have control and can resist the temptations, I get angry that I can't have the foods I would like to...such a vicious cycle.This has gotten better for me the longer I choose to live a healthy lifestyle, but I still go through times where stress gets to me and I turn to food...then they cycle starts all over again. So.Frustrating.
Now, let's go back to about 5 weeks ago. I was plugging along doing 22 Minute Hard Corps. I was feeling strong, loving my workouts, eating "on plan" (or so I told myself). The problem was that I wasn't REALLY tracking my containers like I knew I should be. I was eating a spoonful of peanut butter drizzled in honey every time I walked into the kitchen. I was adding honey to my coffee. I was adding honey to my yogurt. I was on honey (sugar) overload and I was feeling sluggish because of it. Sugar is a crazy thing. It affects every part of your health, and I was totally feeling the struggle. This is why when I kept seeing more and more people talking about the Whole 30, I knew I needed to give it a try. It was time to shake things up and try something new. Everything the book talked about made so much sense. Maybe, just maybe, the reason I could never kick the sugar addiction was because I was constantly trying to replace my sweet treats with a "healthy" alternative...the problem with this is that when you try to trick yourself into thinking you're getting a sweat treat, it's going to keep craving the sweets. A light bulb went off in my head! Could this really be the key to me finally feeling free from food?!? I was ready to give it my all and commit for 30 days.
It has now been 32 days since I started the Whole 30. I made it through the whole process with NO cheats. NO off plan foods. NO drinks. I attended Mother's Day Celebrations, Birthday parties, and even a wedding without going off track. I went to a Mexican restaurant and didn't eat any chips, salsa or queso dip (all was on my table). I stuck to my shrimp fajitas without any shells, rice, beans or cheese. I did it! It was surprisingly easy. I never even found myself craving anything or wanting to go off plan. I feel so empowered and FREE! I don't find myself feeling deprived and frustrated when I see others eating donuts, cake, ice cream, candy, or pizza that I can't have. Now, don't be mistaken. Going forward, I will allow myself to eat a piece of pizza sometimes and even some ice cream or cake from time to time...but I finally have control over my emotional attachment to food. I don't even know how to put into words how incredible that feels. While I fully believe in living the 80/20 lifestyle and enjoying an occasional treat, I now feel like I will actually be able to enjoy those treats without the emotional spiral that has always come with that for me.
So, what happened the day after the Whole 30? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I didn't change how I was eating. I didn't feel the need to "reward" myself with junk food. I feel like I'm an entirely new person. I am incredibly grateful for this process and for my husband and mom, who supported me the whole time. Drew would cook all of the milk solid out of my butter, so I could have clarified butter. He ate what I ate and never complained. He helped me figure the process out and encouraged me every day. My mom cooked for me when I had busy nights of meetings or baseball with the boys, and always made sure she prepared food that I was able to eat. Having a support system really is key, and I feel so blessed.
Can you relate to my relationship with food? Do you find it so frustrating to have to have so much "will power" to get through any social gathering? If so, I highly recommend you try The Whole 30. The book is quite inexpensive on Amazon, and worth every penny. Feel free to contact me with any questions you may have! You are worth the 30 days it takes to take control of your health.
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